Memphis Grizzlies Post Season Plan

The Memphis Grizzlies finished another year with a record of 22-60, a 1 game decline from the prior year. There are some young pieces in place on offense, but this team needs development, direction, and more talent. With the departure of Pau Gasol, a large amount of cap space to work with, and two first round picks (including a likely top 5 pick), there will be lots to do this offseason for the Grizz. Thats not even mentioning the issues of a potential change in ownership at some point, or the huge decline in attendence.

Here are the Pope's key objectives for the Grizz this offseason, ranked in order of priority:

1. Draft Pick - The Grizz will have the 4th most balls in the lottery, behind Miami (15 wins), Seattle (20 wins), and Minnesota (22 wins). The worst pick the Grizzlies could get would be the #7 pick, based on how the lottery works (click here for those details). Obviously the Grizzlies must hit a home run with this pick. They need impact players everywhere, but particularly on the interior. Here are the top 5 prospects that the Pope would recommend for the Grizzlies, regardless of draft spot obtained:

1. Michael Beasley - Tough, athletic, muscular, productive on both ends of the floor, and left handed. Look for him to improve (he is 19) and become a cross between Carmelo Anthony and Carlos Boozer.

2. Derrick Rose - As a Memphis fan, I love this kid. Strong, tall, athletic, and a potential top 5 point guard in the league. I think we lose considerable value if we take him overall at #1, because we have so many point guards already and would have to make under market value trades to fix our depth chart.
3. Anthony Randolph, LSU - The first surprise of the of the Pope's rankings. This kid plays defense. Athletic, tall, and very young, this guy can block shots and rebound. Close call with OJ Mayo, but more upside and particulary defensive upside.
4. OJ Mayo, USC - Would be a decent wing combination with Rudy Gay. Can slash and shoot a little bit, although college year was just solid not great. More upside though with size and shooting ability than all below him in my rankings.

5. Brook Lopez, Stanford - Dont think this guy can be an All Star, but can be a productive and solid center for 10 years in the league. And no, its not a 2 for 1 deal where you get his twin brother also.

If we could get one of the top 2, I would be extremely excited. If we get Rudolph, I would be happy. If we get Mayo, I would be unsure. If we get Lopez, I would mostly satisfied. No matter who the Grizz draft, they better not miss.

2. Defense - The Grizzlies avereaged 107 points given up per game. On offense, they averaged 101 points. Certainly the offensive numbers are skewed based on how many points we gave up, and the high number of blowout games in which the Grizz played. But in reality the Grizz are much closer on the offensive end to success than they are defensively. Realistically, the Grizz are going to have to hold their opponents to 10 points less per game to make any type of noise in the Western Conference. Doing that will be near impossible, but knocking down that average at least 5 points or more should be the top priority besides the draft pick this offseason. How? We need to stress defense in player development, and obtain a couple of veterans that are defensive specialists. Not easy to find, but some suggestions are below.

3. Salary Cap - Who was that player we traded Pau Gasol for? We dont know yet. Depends on how we spend the cap room we now how due to Pau's departure. Here is a good analysis of the free agents this summer. There are only two teams this summer - the Grizzlies and the 76ers - that could handle a top tier free agent under the cap. Thats good for us. However, to get a top free agent to come to Memphis, we are going to have to pay above market value. Whomever we sign will be one of the defining decisions of this team. I listed it as #3 because supposedly there is a decent 2009 free agent crop, and this priority may not be addressed until next summer. My breakdown of notable 2008 Free Agents:

Would be Awesome, but Very Unlikey (all of these guys have contracts for 1 more year, but have an Early Termination Option for this summer; yet they are likely to remain in their current contract until becoming unrestricted free agents in 2009):
Allen Iverson
Jermaine O'Neal
Ron Artest
Elton Brand
Gilbert Arenas

Instant Offense but no Defense:
Antawn Jamison

Probably Cheap Veterans that Play Interior Defense:
PJ Brown
Dikembe Mutumbo
Eduardo Najera
Kurt Thomas


Pope's Recommendation: Najera & Kurt Thomas, and wait for 2009 for a big name

If the Grizz could persuade Elton Brand out of his contact, I would be in favor of paying him max $$, but its unlikely. Will be interesting to see what the Grizz do.

4. Point Guard Situation - This situation is currently
muddled and in need of repair, as the Grizz have 3 point guards (Mike Conley, Kyle Lowery, and Javaris Crittenton). If the Grizz get the #2 pick and somehow get Derrick Rose, then things turn really muddy. The only downside to taking an amazing talent like Derrick Rose is that we will be forced to trade Mike Conley at likely below market value. That will be a tough decision. But even if the Grizz dont get Derrick Rose, something needs to happen at this position. It sounds like Conley is the man, and Lowry and Crittendon will battle it out this summer for the backup spot. The third guy will be traded, waived, or benched, depending.

5. Mike Miller - He has been a solid SG, leader, and team player for this team for some time. He plays hard and gives 100% all the time, earning him a lot of fans in Memphis. But I think its time we get some value via trade for this aging star. Watching Mike Miller this year, I saw a 28 year old that moved around like he was 35. I love Mike, but think its time to get some value out of him before his slide downward occurs and we get nothing in return but an oft-injured veteran. Mike is not an oft-injured player yet, but Im predicting that he will act like your friends American SUV - its really cool for the first 5 years, but then two transmission overhauls, new tires, and new brakes are going to be your costs in year 6. Sell before that.

The Grizz need a major overhaul to not only compete next year, but also to keep fans remotely interested. Apathy is the worst disease that your fans can have, and that is certainly becoming the case in Memphis.

The Pope's Suggested Dream Answer: Draft Michael Beasley, sign Kurt Thomas and/or Najera, trade Kyle Lowery for a veteran defender, and then wait for a 2009 free agent like Elton Brand (who has an option to terminate in 2008 also) with even more $$ available under the cap room.

American Idol - House of Pain

The second in a series of posts, VaticanSmoke meshes the world of American Idol with the sports world. Check out the Insane Clown Posse post from last week.

This week's American Idol with Sports Figures features the one hit wondermakers of the early 90's, House of Pain. Yes, the three band members went on to later success in music, with Everlast having some solo success, and another member joining Limp Bizkit. Read all you want about them here. Now on to VaticanSmoke's contestants from the world of sports, competing in an American Idol format by singing House of Pain songs.

House of Pain Song - Performer

"Jump Around" - Wisconsin Student Section
At Camp Randall, every football game features the playing of the ultimate one hit wonder, "Jump Around", at the end of the 3rd quarter. The entire student section dances, you guessed it, jumping around. Pretty neat actually. Ok, a little bit gay:



"Black Jesus" - Ray Allen

A nice "He Got Game" reference for all you Rick Fox fans out there. A great Spike Lee joint, in which Ray Allen plays the part of a high school basketball phenom named Jesus Shuttlesworth. An underrated film that is a great sports movie.

"It ain't a crime" - Mike Vick

Uh, no so fast Lee Harvey. While many parts of American "Urban" culture view dog fighting as a harmless crime (comparable to jay walking), that defense doesnt work too well in a court of law. Hopefully the real life edition of the Longest Yard is going well for Mr. Vick.

"X-Files" - Mark Mulder

The former pride of the Oakland A's, now a washed-up has-been Cardinals pitcher that is playing for the Memphis Redbirds currently (Cardinals AAA affiliate). He is so good, that he claims to be throwing well despite giving up 100 runs in 2 innings. An awful song, an awful pitcher.
"Life Goes On" -




"Come & get some of this" - Ron Artest / Stephen Jackson

This fight just doesn't get old does it? I will never forget watching Sportscenter the night this happened. Great video of these fine young gentlemen going out and "getting some" from Detroit's finest. My favorite is the Pistons fan that comes onto the court towards the end and then gets "tooled on" by Artest and then Stephen Jackson:



Next week will feature a flash back to the 80s. Seacrest out.

Caption Contest

A new bit of interactive fun on VaticanSmoke.com - Caption Contest. For those of you that don't know, its simple. You see the picture below. You respond in the comments section right below the post with a possible caption for this photo in a newspaper.

Enjoy the first picture:

il papa's pontifications

Now its time for the weekly dishing out of papal pain:

1. Marvin Harrison - The only equivalent I could think of after this story, is if Elmo robbed the Savings and Loan. You thought he was warm, fuzzy, and nice, but then he surprises you. Marvin Harrison has been a silent team player, on top of being an all star WR for 12 years. Never a bad word with the media, never celebrating or showboating. But now his Belgian gun is involved with a shooting? (Belgians make something besides waffles and Tony Parker?) After a fight at his nightclub, the shooting occured at Marvin Harrison's Car Wash no less (if I was an NFL player, why would I buy a f_cking car wash?).
I hope to hear a conclusion to this case soon, as Im getting tired of it.

2. Roger Clemens apology - What are you sorry for Roger? This guy wants to be forgiven and no longer be on the front page of the paper, yet he admits and offers up nothing in return. Lets re-write the apology, as Roger's publicist should have:

"I want to apologize to everyone for everything I have done. I want your forgiveness, and to be left alone. In return for forgiving me and leaving me alone, I will list my transgressions: I hooked up with a teenager, took HGH, dabbled in steriods, game my wife HGH, hooked up with John Daly's wife, and then lied about it all to you and the government. Ok, we cool now?"

Hooking up with John Daly's wife? Off topic, but man what an upgrade for her. Mindy Mccready is looking slightly ragged nowadays, but Im sure her music career will soon be revived with all the attention "the rocket" is getting her. I could insert a joke here about "Guys do it all the time" but I will pass.

3. PETA - I dont even know where to start with these a$$ clowns. They are uninformed, attention seeking liberals that stand for anti-almost anything involving animals, not something positive for animals (like the Humane Society). After the tragic death of 2nd place finisher Eight Belles in the Kentucky Derby this past Saturday, they are calling for the suspension of the jockey, trainer, and probably anyone who paid a ticket for admission to the Derby. If this would have been a regular weekend race, not televised, would PETA have come out so publicly? Nope. PETA sees publicity in this situation; and not unlike that beauty pageant girl in 7th grade that everyone hated, they come running to the attention as if their life depended on it. PETA attacks horse racing for what the harm it does to horses, yet they ignore the stats: 1.5 horses die for every 1000 raceshorses that compete. This is not dog fighting people. Chill out. Most trainers and jockeys treat their horses very well. Think about it - you run and train most of the day, and then people bring random horses a few times a week to your stable so that you can "stud". Where can I sign up?

The Pope has a new acronym for PETA to help them chill out:

Papal Edicts Towards A$$clowns

Ok that's kind of stupid, but whatever, its a slow Tuesday.

American Idol

Even the Pope needs to modernize things a bit, add a little cultural flair to his world of sports. What better than the beacon of American TV ratings, American Idol. What songs would sports figures sing if they were contestants on Idol?

This week's band: Insane Clown Posse

Yes sirr, your favorite band of the late 90's . . . the INSANE CLOWN POSSE. They may look like the crazy guys that could barely read and were always getting into fights at your high school. Sure they dropped out two weeks before graduation, but thats because they had a sick hot record deal with Infuego Records . . . what an awesome late 90s generation X band.

This week's contestants performing Insane Clown Posse songs: Brady Quinn, Ray Lewis, Roger Clemens, West Virginia Athletic Department, John Daly, and Barry Bonds

And now to the performances . . .



Brady Quinn - "Pass Me By" - A lyrical explosion to phoenetically grasp Brady's feelings during the 2007 NFL Draft.



Ray Lewis - "I Stab People" - Ok, he was acquitted. But it doesn't get old.



Roger Clemens - "Another Love Song" - Another day another gal eh Roger?



WVU Athletic Department - "I Want My Sh*t" - Sang by the whole department to one Rich Rodriguez. Rich Rodriguez's response, "No habla englais".





John Daly - "Down with the Clown" - I just love John Daly, despite appearing to be a clown at times.



Barry Bonds - "Play With Me" - You want a drug filled 43 year old with bad knees, a badder attitude, and a head so big it might explode? Hey Barry - New Era just called - they dont have the machinery to make size 9.25" hats. No team for you.




Even the Pope listens to the I.C.P. Next week's band follows a similar theme . . . House of Pain. Seacrest out.