Now announcing the finalists in America's Next Top Sports Model, here is our host, Tyra Banks:
TYRA: Whats up yall? Ooooh yall loook so good tonight mama, ummmhmm yall look good
Contestants: (awkward silence)
TYRA: Alright good lookin studs, lets get started. You have all made the final round of America's Next Top Sports Model. Tonight, I will introduce you each, followed by a critique. After all have been introduced, we'll announce which of you is the winner. Uhhmmmm yall be lookin so good!!
Contestants: (silence) . . . Uhh, thanks Tyra (quietly all together)
TYRA: All right den. First up, Chris Kaman
TYRA: You have been a pleasure to watch girlfriend. The way you have pulled off the Arkansas-White Trash-Deliverance look has been magical. If Bass Pro Shops, John Deere, or anyone need some talent, I think you'll be right there. I dont think you have a chance to be anything but an average model though, no supastar in ya sister.
TYRA: Next up, Sam Cassell
TYRA: What can I say Sammy. Nobody can pull of the Mr. Ed / Alien Head like you can. I mean, baby, you so marketable with all these triple crown horse races goin on. You be goin on too darlin'! But like Kaman, I think you can be a solid model but just not a star.
TYRA: Whoooohoo wee. Many dis be so tough on a girrrl. Next up, former Atlanta Brave of the 90's, Otis Nixon
TYRA: Baby, nobody, and I mean nobody can do the skinny crackhead like you can. An amazing ability to look poor and old, all in a healthy and young package. I think you do have potential star ability, if used in the right way girrrrrlfriend. Ooooohhhwweeee you look so good. We'll see how things turn out in the end now.
TYRA: Seeing all yall workin so hard makes me wanna cry. Ok, i got it together. Next up on America's Top Sports Model, Gheorghe Muresan
TYRA: Honey, the first time I saw your face, I knew it was something special. Never mind your freakish height or complete lack of coordination, the focus was all on the face. Ohhhh girrrl and the way that nose takes up about a third of a face already shaped like the state of Illinois - you just cant find that anywhere. If you had the body to match the face, I'd put you at the top easy. But we'll just have to see if that pretty face got you a victory anyway.
TYRA: Next up, a rookie who is new to the game but aint new to being good lookin, Joakim Noah
TYRA: Oooohhh my goodness. I knows me some talent when I sees it. When I looks at you, the first thing I see is those teeth. Lookin good girrrlfriend! And your hair - the way it looks uncombed, kinda like Bozo the clown or sumthin - I knows you gots a good hair stylist. You tall, lean, and I think you could be a superstar. We'll have to see how you judge out in the end.
TYRA: And now our last athlete competing in America's Next Top Model, USA Softball pitcher Jenny Finch
TYRA: Now some people in the finals, I undastand. You girlfriend, I dont. Your tan looks fake (not to mention other things), whoever did your hair should be shot, and those slanty sideways eyes of yours have just got to go. And I havent even gotten to your dress yet. I think you maybe could do some runway work for TJ Max, but thats about it. Sista, I aint so sure what America sees in you.
TYRA: And now for the winner. America has voted . . . Gheorghe Muresan as the winner!!
TRYA: Wow, my goodness! A great pick, but defintely an upset. Unbelievable. Congratulations George!
George: TTank you verly mutch. Finally, I beautiful. I defeet weel champion!
TRYA: Lets see that dance Gheorghe! See yall next week on America's Next Next Top Sports Model
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